'Dar's Norfolk'

Norfolk Island would have to be an ad-writer's dream. Or nightmare. After all, a place where everything is so -  well, superlative - choosing the right adjective can be tricky.

You can get high on extremes here and perhaps it's just as well that this Pacific paradise speaks another language, Norfuk, in addition to English. 

For although Norfolk Island was used twice as a British convict settlement, the third and final group to call it home in 1856 were descendants of the Bounty mutiny survivors who brought with them from their previous refuge, Pitcairn Island, a new tongue. Amongst themselves they spoke a patois mixture of old English, Welsh and Tahitian, and this language survives today. 

As you wander the main street of Burnt Pine, the tax-free, GST-free shopping town on the island, you will hear it spoken; if you dial a wrong number, the recorded message is given in both  languages; and public signs may exhort you to 'Yorlye cum look orn', which translates as 'come, take a look around'.

'Dar's Norfolk' - that's Norfolk!  - the locals say, shrugging expressively when they want to describe the enigmatic ways of the island. 'Dar's Norfolk', when boats are delayed and the restaurateurs must delete a favourite dish or improvise with local ingredients. Many of them, like Mariah's Restaurant, are justifiably proud of their menus, even though the law that prohibits the import of fresh fruit, vegetables and other ingredients, poses constant dilemmas.

"There is just no ice cream on the island at all at present," apologises our waiter one evening, "but the boat should be here soon."  'Soon' may be a day, or a week, and later we learn that the ship has still has not left New Zealand. So  everyone will do without ice cream a little longer.

Yet it is hard to hold this against a place that open-handedly offers such a wealth of other enticements. What, after all, is ice cream when you compare it to two hundred metre sheer cliffs suiciding into an ocean so brilliantly blue-and-white that your eyes ache?

Or the pines, named for Norfolk, that serrate every skyline, the nomadic cows ponderously keeping each square metre of the island clipped as closely as a football field, or the tropical leisure-mood that seeps into your bones from the  moment the plane lands? This place has a sensual way of attaching itself to you, refusing to let petty inconveniences get in the way.

Just 1600 kilometres from Sydney, Norfolk probably should never have been found.  It is so remote that its nearest neighbour, Lord Howe, is hundreds of kilometres further west across the Pacific, and we owe its discovery to the sharp eyes of Captain Cook's crew in l774.

Even he probably would not have been much interested in this uninhabited place, except for the tall pines which he hoped might provide replacement masts and spars for his vessel. The native flax looked useful, too, for ropes and rigging, but he was unlucky on both counts: the pines were not strong enough, and no one on board could figure out how to utilise the coarse grasses.

Still, the British government saw it as an ideal outpost for the more recalcitrant of its prisoners, and when Sydney was settled a few years later, a small group under Philip Gidley King were sent to these isolated shores.  

There are snakes in every Eden, and while the island was paradise to look at, it became a hellish destination for hundreds of convicts over the next fifty years, with the most brutal officers assigned here to supervise them. Blood flowed into the sea and screams drowned the peaceful sound of the waves.

Today though, Kingston, the original convict settlement, has been restored and its mellow cream-painted Georgian buildings give little hint of the atrocities they once witnessed. Geese strut importantly around their walls and the Norfolk flag - a green pine on white, bordered by green - flaps gently alongside the Australian one.

Although the island has much autonomy the links with Australia remain, especially trade and, most important of all, the bulk of its tourists.

Yet the island is jealously watchful of allowing an influx of too many strangers. You or I cannot simply elect to move to there. We must prove our suitability, and ability to contribute. A few dollars in the bank doesn't go astray, as is demonstrated by the high proportion of millionaires on the island - some say around forty, in a population of under 2000 - but Australians may come and work on Norfolk for a limited time and, while they do, they enjoy the same tax-free benefits as permanent residents.

Norfolk is not only about peace and tranquillity. For the active there is diving and snorkelling, many kilometres of bushwalks, and rock climbing to suit the most energetic. And a golf course, for a more leisurely form of exercise.

Photographers go crazy faced with so much beauty, and nature-lovers can spend days tracking rare birds and discovering forest plant life.

Tourist accommodation on the island - around 55 properties - ranges from high-standard hotels to motels, bed and breakfasts and self-catering cottages. There are around twenty restaurants on the island and the island's website has details of many of them.

On this Pacific paradox, you'll find people plaiting hats from the native flax alongside shops selling the latest French perfumes and British knitwear. You'll find a settlement that seems lifted from country-town, Australia, circa l955, yet one which can arrange duty-free goods  - clothing, jewellery, shoes, perfumes, cameras, toys and electrical items - to be delivered anywhere in the world immediately you make an order. Visiting shoppers need to remember that Australian customs regulations apply to any goods bought on Norfolk and brought back to Australia.  

On Norfolk, you'll find scenery that would make an artist weep with joy - as you simultaneously dodge steaming cowpats left by cattle.....

.....whose red ear-tag gives them carte blanche to wander the island, hold up traffic and graze wantonly. You'll be frustrated by lack of produce sometimes, yet be able to gorge on the glut when something else comes into  season. 

You won't ever, really, be able to define what  gives this remote island its charm, or why you're tempted to book your next visit as soon as you leave. And you'll envy greatly those privileged couple of thousand who call it home, while on the other hand its insularity might unsettle you.  

Quite simply, you can never define the place, and the locals realise this and switch to the local language.

Dar's Norfolk!, they'll tell you.

For more information......   

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Why should Australians go to Norfolk?

• Weather – tops around 25C summer/ 19C winter
• Beauty: Stunning views of water and pasture, cliffs and beaches all around the island. 
• Proximity: second-closest Pacific island. (1400 km from NSW; 900km from Lord Howe)

• Size: 34 square kilometres (8kmx5km)
• No passports/visas needed for Australians
• Same language and currency (Norfukis an accepted local language, a Pitcairn language – old English) All locals have nicknames.
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• Shopping: Duty-free items and local crafts
• Getting there: 2.5-hour flight from Sydney, 2.15hr from Brisbane. (closer to NZ)
• Getting around: No public transport. Hike or bike or hire a car (booked with accommodation) Livestock has right of way!

• Dining on Norfolk Island - Polynesian foods, but also Chinese, Italian. Local produce such as Norfolk Blue beef, a unique breed of cattle raised on a restaurant's 100 Acre Farm. Otherwise fresh produce is freighted from Australia or NZ.

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Now that you really want to go to Norfolk Island here's how....

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Text: ©Sally Hammond

Photos: ©Gordon Hammond